There are common misconceptions about what happens when we die – that we are carried out of our broken vessel by angels and ferried off to the heavens, that those evil amongst us as cast into a chasm where they burn forever in the fiery depths of Punishment. There are tales that when we die, we are born again either in this world or another, or that we are sent to a different plane of existence to live among other beings in a stranger place with stranger laws. This is not all necessarily true.
Even as I lie here face-down on the cold, unforgiving gravel with my life blood steadily seeping out of me, I find myself staring into the depths of where I am to go; staring into the Void.
A dark, empty nothingness devoid of any company or any hope. The Void is infinite, and we do not meet there together but are lost forever in it’s endless depths. Everyone dies alone. That is a fact of life. We can hold those dearest to us close and we may die at the same time but we die alone; that is all there is to it.
“Stay with me now! D’ya hear?! Stay with me!”
I find myself staring into a lamp with a sea of blue-masked faces surrounding me, their eyebrows furrowed in concern as they undoubtedly attempt to bring me back. Foolish bigots – cannot they see I am already lost? Even as the current courses through my body, I am seeping away, light as a feather; I am floating along with the breeze of destiny and everything is rendered dark.
“Stay with me!”
Their voices fade.
“We’re losing him…”
Their voices continue to diminish.
“Rest in peace…”
I am no more.
“Hurry, hurry! He’s been left out far too long!” I shout urgently, begging a quicker pace from those around me as we move to get the bed into the ER. Damn, he’s lost so much blood…
The doors are swung open for us as we bring the bed smack-dab in the center of the room, surgeons working quickly upon him, staunching the bleeding and attempting to take out the numerous projectiles stuck in his body, each close to the epicenter of the bloody waterfall that stemmed from him. Years of experience took natural command and I found myself quickly yet deftly cutting through skin, patching dozens of wounds and applying all the efforts and skills that were at my disposal for this man, dying all the time; it’s all useless, I realized, my heart slumping with hopelessness.
I stand back for just a moment, gazing upon the face of a dying man whom I cannot save; is this what it feels like to be a god? I wonder grimly as I find myself helpless to intervene in the fate thrust upon my hands. His eyelids open slightly, and with a jolt I take notice of the heart monitor, continuously dropping.
Quickly, I charge the defibrillator and thrust it upon his chest. “Stay with me!” I cry, his eyelids beginning to droop down fatefully, though his body reacts to the current.
“We’re losing him…” the nearby surgeon – John – states in a warning tone as I let loose another current.
The monitor sounds with an unyielding beep – and everyone freezes; just like that, we’ve lost.
“Rest in peace…” I whisper dolefully, head lowered to conceal the devastation in my eyes.